Micro Review: The Panty Whisperer 1: Erotic Self Glorification at its Worst (NSFW)

Introduction

Alright folks, it’s time for another Micro Book Erotica view. A fun time where we look at the shortest books ever written and try to critic them. Today’s focus will be on Sloane Howell and the first book she released called The Panty Whisperer Volume One. But first, a little introduction about our spotlight author.

About the Author

Sloane Howell is an author currently residing in the Midwest United States with her husband and her two children. One thing that I notice a lot with the authors of MBEs are that they are often parents with children. I could only wish that they would say what their ‘professions’ are to the much valued Career Day at their schools.

Well said Tina Fey.

Well said Tina Fey.

Apart from the Panty Whisper series, she has also written the Payne Capital novella and has plans to release another chapter in the previously mentioned series.

As with previous MBE reviews, I will be looking at the author’s writing style, characters, the story-line and the depicted sex. Let’s dive in and review The Panty Whisperer Volume One.

Sloane Howell’s Writing Style

The first thing that I notice when I opened this book on Kindle is a commonly reoccurring writing trope of capitalizing the first sentence of their book/chapter. As soon as you open it, the first line is…

THE MAJORITY OF MEN WANT sex just to get off.

There is no point in capitalizing something that has little value to no bearing on the story or its characters. It is an annoying trend that honestly needs to stop. So, authors of the world, I have just one thing to ask: Please stop.

Another thing that I notice with Sloane Howell’s writing is her writing is riddled with shortened sentences that on average are only five words. Grammatically speaking, she could have woven several of the sentences in this story together to create more cohesive sentence structuring.

I do have to praise how Mrs. Howell has written the character descriptions over the course of the book rather than just putting it into one paragraph at the beginning of the book.

The Characters

I will come out and say it, I hate the protagonist of this story and I am using the term ‘protagonist’ lightly. The lead of this story is named Joel Hannoever, an accounting software consultant who states in the very beginning of the story that he has a ‘talent’ for making women orgasm. He is best described as a manipulative a**hole and narcissist with a messiah complex. Throughout the book, he believes that he was put on Earth to help women who are sexually unsatisfied.

E-cards: Best describing people's true thoughts for years.

E-cards: Best describing people’s true thoughts for years.

Joel has no redeeming aspects to his character even towards the end of the book. At one point, he tells the woman he is having sex with “Just let it happen,”. Those are not the words of someone being seductive, those are the words of someone committing sexual assault or rape. He is depicted as an antihero who has no moral qualms with adultery, lying, manipulation and what many would consider sexual assault even by the most liberal standards. Everyone knows that one pretentious person with a superiority complex and glorifies what sexual ability they might have. Joel is the literary version of that person.

The other main character of this story is Jessica Moore, a married mother of two kids and the senior fixed asset analyst at the company that Joel is trying to sell the software to. I will admit that Jessica’s character is fleshed out more than Joel’s as we learn more about who she is and what she has to deal with in her marriage. Despite being seduced by Joel, she still shows some form of moral reprehensibility to both committing an infidelity and having public sex in a garage. I would have honestly rather read a story that was based off of Jessica rather than Joel. It would have allowed better character development that what was seen with Joel.

The Story-Line

The plot for this story is the common written story about a guy who sees an attractive woman, seduces the woman and eventually has sex with the woman. Though with other stories in the past that have used this commonly seen trope, the main character often has to either work for the much wanted sex or has to a conflict that he has to go through. There is none of that here. Joel seduces Jessica at such a fast rate, it would be comparable to throwing a wheel of Colby cheese at a group of Green Bay Packers Fans except the cheese wheel would take longer to be consumed. (*No offense to any fans of the Green Bay Packers. I’m from Maryland, so go ahead and make jokes about me snorting Old Bay Spice.)

The ending of this MBE can also be considered disappointing. This book was written to be part of a series following the story of Joel’s sexual conquests, but there is nothing that would draw the reader back to the books that follow.

The Sex Scene

At last, we get to the depicted sex which is this book’s lone saving grace. After Joel and Jessica converse over lunch, they return to their company’s parking garage to commit the adulterous deed.

The number one romantic hotspot for perverts and deviants.

The number one romantic hot spot for perverts and deviants.

The sex scene depicted in the story, while graphic in content, has wasted potential for what could have been creative writing.

Part of the thrill of public sex is the constant threat that someone could see the deviant act and what is often mentioned is a feeling of an adrenaline rush as the heart rates increases with each passing second. That feeling of being caught at any given moment is scantly mentioned at all during the sex scene at all. If I could assume, Jessica would have never have had public sex before meeting Joel, but her reaction or feelings towards the situation is non-existent.

Although the setting for the sex can be considered kinky, the actual sex between the two characters can be considered vanilla consisting of fellatio and sex from behind. Though how Sloane Howell describes the sex in question outmatches the quality of the rest of the book, giving the readers what they really want.

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

What can I say about Sloane Howell’s The Panty Whisperer except that it is erotic self glorification at its worst that is almost unreadable. If it wasn’t for the sex scene, I would tell you not to read it at all. The story is a lackluster copy of the most basic erotica plot, the writing is questionable in sections, the execution is sloppy and the characters are absolutely unlikable.

Mrs. Howell, I have to ask, how did this come into being? It is clear that this is just an erotic humanized version of the Horse Whisperer. But without a more established story and characters that the reader can relate to, you can’t expect readers to support or understand the book that you are giving them. There is nothing that invites readers to reading any of the other books in the series. My advice is to work on making the characters relate more with the readers so they can actually care about what happens to the protagonists.

If you want to visit Sloane Howell’s home website, click here.

The Panty Whisperer Volume One is available on Amazon for free.

4 Comments

Filed under Book Reviews, Micro Reviews

4 responses to “Micro Review: The Panty Whisperer 1: Erotic Self Glorification at its Worst (NSFW)

  1. What an odd story, particularly the really short sentences! I guess some people are relying on sex selling.

    http://libbycole.wordpress.com

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: One Year Anniversary of SIWT and the Beginning of a Giveaway | Stories, Insights, and Weird Thoughts

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